A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim).
Here are some ways to be dutiful to the Mothers;
66. Mothers need males more than girls in difficult conditions; so, they must support her in hardship and be with her.
67. Be gentle with your sisters, present them gifts and treat them nicely because as it will make your mother happy as any mother loves her daughters to be treated gently.
68. Do not be shy of any action taken by your mother that suits her age and be reasonable to the surroundings, be proud of her, in whatever she does.
69. Teach your children how to be nice with her, kissing her head, and hand; send with them gifts on different occasions.
70. Hold her hand when she is old, help her to put on her shoes, guide her to her way, walk her to the hospital and to her errands as you are the most responsible for her.
71. Make an award for whoever treats her well from your children, for who comes first in serving her or for who creates a new way to be dutiful.
72. Naturally, mothers take care of her house, so help her in making her house to be in the best condition, for example by maintaining and following the process of its development periodically.
73. The bedroom has a special place in the heart of the mother, so do your best to present her with appropriate gifts or give her the chance to choose what fits her in this regard as well as for the guestroom.
74. Be dutiful to her relatives and help her in this respect, try to link between them by helping her visit them, and remind her to call and buy them gifts.
75. If she fancies a certain hobby, try to dedicate some of your time for her to enjoy it and provide her with what she needs in this regard, and familiarize her with everything new in her world.
76. Occupy her in your hobbies; provide her with a special treatment by writing her a poem if you are a poet; if you are a writer, write her an article or tweet.
77. In some societies women like to be referred to as “mother of any name of her grandchildren" ex. Mother of Mohammed or Nassere.c.t; but due to the fact that she doesn't want to interfere into her son's business, she usually doesn't want to show that ; so, honor her with giving her what she desires.
78. When she and your family go in your car, give her the priority of sitting her first and the on the most comfortable position. When you get in and out, make sure that she is before you unless the matter requires that.
79. Don’t speak rudely, roughly or in a way that does not compliment her high status. Use the most beautiful words with her.
80. Make a contest between children on who presents the best gift to their mother, which enhances her status in their hearts and motivate them to perform good deeds.
81. You should try constantly to seek the accepted supplications time such as the last third of night, Friday and during prostration, then pray for her.
82. Inform your mother about how the guests are happy about what she offered them in the banquets or any kind of invitation, because it refreshes her.
83. The time dedicated to her should be enough and no matter what you should spend it with her without any interruption on account of phone calls, reading newspaper or magazines.
84. Girls should get the mother to know their friend and should not be embarrassed from her or tell her not to do a certain action under in any form.
85. Be proud of her at any place and time, and she must be your first priority.
86. Narrate some of the stories of righteousness and send her some clips on this subject; which enjoys them.
87. Ask her to pray for you that God helps you to be dutiful to her, which proves to her your interest to be so.
88. Ask her always to be satisfied with you as it indicates its importance for you.
89. Always take the initiative and act before everybody in being dutiful. Always create new ways of dutifulness, that result in rewarding you and you will have the same reward for those who implement this without deducting their reward .
90. Don’t raise your voice in her presence; be humble and lenient when requesting or serving her and the best words while serving her .
91. If you live in the same town where your mother lives , try to live near her as much as you can as it helps keeping ties of kinship solid and it simplify the way for you to act piously.
92. If you work in another city, take into account visiting her at any opportunity, and don't be late since she has patience waiting for you and she will not complain when she needs to be patient with his affairs..
93. It is not enough to visit her alone but you should take your family with you. Your wife and children until an appropriate relationship for her is formed between her and your family.
94. Avoid your ego and your desires, give the preference of your mother over yourself, and request her to accept that; as fulfilling her desire is part of the perfection of dutifulness.
95. Sit with yourself and review your deeds; how good your performance was towards your mother? Whether you were satisfactory or not or still needing more to reach her satisfaction .
96. Be sure that whatever you did to your parents, it will return back to you; if you are dutiful, your children will be so, and if it is the other way around, you will experience the same. So, work on achieving their satisfaction, then you will be happy in this life and in the hereafter.
97. In the event that she is sick, attend to her and bring who you want to serve her.
98. Do not neglect praising her taste in the presence of all, in terms of buying clothes, or her appearance etc .
99. Narrate to her your actions of your journeys, during which you can show her the pictures of you and your friends; all that will result in her praying for you, which is the higher purpose.
100. Receive her concerns in a welcoming manner, and accept her remarks and execute her instructions humbly .
101. Consult her and take her advice.
102. When you are sitting with her, sit in a manner that suits her status.
103. During the meal, follow the manners of eating with her; prefer her over yourself by giving her what she likes of foods and drinks.
104. Understand her psychological state of mind and the way she lives treat her accordingly. Try to know her tendencies and provide her with more than what she deserves.
105. The daughters must not be busy with their married lives until it causes dilemmas with care of her mother ; her attribution to her family must not affect her dutifulness to her mother, since the daughter has a special position with her mother.
106. Some of the mother's private matters cannot be known by her sons; so, preferably the daughter should be alert in this regard and not forget about her mother.
107. During the visit to your family, don't let your children spoil or ruin her house. As a result, mother will be burdened with fixing them.
108. If your children ruin some of your mother's house properties, you must fix the damages and substitute it with something better.
109. Normally the patient state of mind changes; so, it is better to visit them during their sickness provided that we should be alert to prevent her from the children making noise.
110. With the increase of the number of the children visiting, it is preferable to organize a visiting schedule because bringing all children at once on the same day is not necessary.
111. It is worth those having a lot of children to take them to a reasonable place where the mother cannot be annoyed by their noise such as: a park, a spacious place where she can relax
112. To make a charity work is a suitable act presented by children as a gift and reciprocity of gratefulness to the mother.
113. Each one of the children is talented in a certain activity for example: some of them are hard workers, some are sociable etc.. Try to be dutiful in that which you are gifted.
114. It is preferable that each son should know his characteristics that are loved by his mother, and try to use them.
115. If you want to capture your mother’s heart, never stop visiting her. A mother never tires of seeing her children ..
116. Provide her with modern communication devices; teach her how to use them, how she can utilize them and the bill should be paid by you.
117. If the mother possesses a cellular phone, send her the best wishes as it remains in her heart and increases love.
118. If the mother is old, you may wrap a set of gifts in order to give them to her friends and acquaintances .
119. When calling your mother, do not be in a hurry, but slow down and listen to her until you know her needs, and do not hang up before she does.
120. In the presence of her you should be well-behaved without raising our voice, creating controversies, quarrel or mentioning anything that she is reluctant to answer.
121. When coming from a trip, present her with a gift from the country where you came from, which will remain in her memory about your trip and an expression of your happiness upon seeing her .
122. The place where your mother was brought up as well as the place of the early days of her marriage have a special place in her heart, why don't you take her to enjoy remembering those unforgettable places.
123. Teaching children about the virtue of dutifulness, inspiring them to compete over being the best in this respect can be a source of happiness for them. In addition, they will do good deeds for you in the future .
124. If your parents got divorced, do not criticize any one of them with anything they hate .
125. In case of any disputes within the family, offer functional solutions in a diplomatic manner to save the ship from sinking; in order to abate any concerns and to gladden the mother .
126. If your mother gets married to another husband other than your father , respect and be generous to him ; present her gifts on different occasions as it sets her heart at peace .
127. If your mother is a wife to somebody else, respect him, consult him in some of your issues and take his advice.
128. Call those who are close to your mother's heart from your own phone, and make it easy for her to contact and visit them.
129. When she gets old, keep being with her, be affectionate towards her, hold her hand, and orientate her, give her a hand, provide her with what she needs and never leave her without .
130. If her opinion was contrary to yours, don’t be stubborn, but be easy going and pay her compliments, even if she was wrong unless it is disobedience to the Creator.
131. If she is one of those follower of magazines, papers or any stuff relevant to the library, then help her to participate in that activity as a gift.
132. Always give her money and don’t wait for her to ask you, as some mothers do not want to embarrass their children by doing so.
133. If you bought her needs or fulfill her requirements, don’t take back the value of that by asking for money; make it as a gift for her .
134. Open a bank account for her where you should put some money every so often; teach her how to use the ATM machine which means that you are making her feel secure .
135. If you commit a mistake against her, rush to apologize; and send the best friend of her as a mediator to accept your apology; in addition, send her a gift for forgiveness.
136. When she gets old, don’t call her by the names that make her feels aged. Calling her grandmother or any hints at age may annoy her.
137. If you observe any misbehavior in her marital life, don’t advise her directly; but, try to clarify the point without hurting her feelings and remind her about her husband’s rights.
138. try always to update yourself with a new act of righteousness to her; think about the condition of dutiful people surrounding you and try to utilize their ideas; add some features on that and do it for your mother.
139. Do not limit your self at a certain level of the righteousness, but put into consideration that any deeds you provide her is less than entitlements; in addition, always find ways to make your dutifulness more perfect, and your deeds much better.
140. Whatever her actions, ideas or opinions, don’t obviously belittle them; but try to be lenient and complimenting of the action .
141. Do not interrupt her or disregard her by not paying attention during her conversation. Do not converse or listen to others when she is talking to you but give her your full attention.
142. Try to increase your Knowledge with regards to the virtue of dutifulness and the biographies of righteous people, as it develops your inspiration .
143. If you see a person afflicted with impiety, then say “All praise and thanks are due to ALLAH who restored me to health from that which He afflicted many people with and this is rather a protection for you from the evil of mocking.
144. During her visit with you , do not turn your back to her or away from your attention; maintain that you should be the nearest person to her and the fastest one of serving her.
145. When she wants to walk, bring her shoes or slippers and put them on her feet; walk with her side by side holding her hand; always follow her with your sight and heart .
146. Do not be the last one to know her news, the last one congratulating her or console her during her trials., take the initiative in this respect as it reflects on how conscientious you are.
147. In the event she is mad at you, do not respond to her or justify your stance in the situation at once. If you are wrong, extend your apology and ask her for forgiveness .
148. Some Mothers are quick tempered; so, be patient, tolerant and try to accommodate her attitude; ask God to preserve her and you will be rewarded for your patience .
149. Write on a piece of paper her favorite things; write each in a way by which you reach her heart and become dutiful .
150. Contemplate and think of those who have lost their mother, and how they missed the opportunity to gain rewards through being dutiful; so, why don’t we make use of this means as the door is still opened.
151. When she is sick, cancel your trips and appointments and focus on her so she gets better upon the presence of her children.
Prepared by; Ustaz Sulaiman Saqeer
Translated by; Ustaz Mubarak Ibn Haadi
